With rare understatement, the Daily Mail reports that Chelsea scouts have been dispatched "to watch" Napoli striker Edinson Cavani on at least five occasions this season.
It has long been the Rumour Mill's contention that one does not merely "watch" Edinson Cavani, but instead gazes in unabashed awe upon this flawless specimen of physical perfection with a kind of devout religious fervour, marvelling at the sheen of that sleek, lank, sweat-drenched shoulder-length mane and those angular cheekbones chiselled into a perfectly proportioned face lit up by a beatific smile and sparkling warm brown eyes.
As crass and tawdry as it seems to attempt to put a price on such perfection, the Uruguayan is valued at £35m and Chelsea bureaucrats have attempted to quantify the perfectly proportioned Uruguayan's immeasurable essence within a crude "dossier", which today's Rumours presumes comprises a single photograph on which some lovestruck Stamford Bridge drone has written the word "Phwoaaaaaar!". With Didier Drogba's contract talks at Chelsea having stalled, André Villas-Boas (or his replacement) will need to bring in a replacement for the hulking Ivorian in the summer and the Napoli striker's representatives on earth are believed to be canvassing top Premier League sides to gauge interest in their deity.
In the more mundane world populated by us mere mortals, talkSPORT report that Alex McLeish has been badgering uninterested passersby with assurances that Darren Bent is "not for sale at any price", a state of affairs that is slightly at odds with Goal.com's contention that the Aston Villa manager is interested in bringing the aforementioned Drogba to Villa Park for his swansong as a replacement for the apparently Liverpool-bound England striker. In other news pertaining to Chelsea, yesterday's Evening Standard reported that Bolton centre-half Gary Cahill's expected move to Stamford Bridge may have hit the skids, as the player who scored his side's winner against Everton last night is believed to be none too pleased that Villas-Boas has been publicly carping about his inability to agree personal terms with Cahill's people.
Despite several assured performances on the field for Sunderland, midfielder Stéphane Sessègnon is believed to be struggling to adapt to life off it in the windswept north-east. Despite the obvious allure of myriad local attractions such as the Sunderland Museum and Winter Gardens, St Peter's Church and Sunniside Leisure Complex, Sessègnon has thus far failed to convince his wife and children to join him on Wearside, prompting antennae at Liverpool, Paris Saint-Germain and Marseille to start twitching.
Having got wind of Christopher Samba, Junior Hoillett and Steven NZonzi planned escape from Ewood Park, midfielder Mauro Formica and Steve Kean's assistant manager, Paul Clement, have told the trio they'll shop them to the screws unless they're allowed to go with them. Newell's Old Boys have offered Formica a temporary safe house in Argentina, while Clement has been assured of a place on Carlo Ancelotti's backroom team at Paris Saint-Germain.
Arsenal and Tottenham are preparing to duke it out in a bid to secure the services of Lille striker Moussa Sow, a 24-year-old French-born Senegalese who has scored so many goals for the Ligue 1 side that his Wikipedia page already reports that "on January 5, 2012 English Premier League clubs Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur showed interest in bringing him to their respective clubs by making a move for 20 million pounds."
Fulham's attempts to bring Catania striker Maxi López to Craven Cottage have been slightly undermined by the Argentinian's unwillingness to go anywhere other than Fiorentina, while Thierry Henry's loan deal to Arsenal has hit a snag relating to the New York Red Bulls' inability to agree with the London club on when exactly he should return to the Big Apple.
The number of no-nonsense red-haired Welsh centre-halves in the QPR ranks will increase by one should Aston Villa accept the £3m offer tabled by Neil Warnock for James Collins, who is attempting to secure a contract extension at Villa Park and using the interest of the Loftus Road outfit, Sunderland and Bolton as leverage. Warnock is also interested in rescuing Nedum Onuoha from Manchester City. The England Under-21 international has made just two appearances for City this season, enough to suggest he is unwanted by Roberto Mancini, despite being twice as popular as Wayne Bridge.
source:
Barry Glendenning
guardian.co.uk
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